After These Messages, We’ll Be Right Back

31 08 2010

This is going to be the default “technical difficulties/writer’s block/on vacation” photo, we’ve decided.  The H-Less Wonder will be on hiatus for a couple weeks, while Tim takes another trip.  He’s not sure if there will be photos posted of this trip,  however.  It’s possible he does not want incriminating photographic evidence circulating on the interwebs.  At any rate, we here at the H-Less Wonder would like to thank those of you who have stood by us in recent months, when the postings have become fewer and far between.  It’s not that we don’t love you, it’s just that this summer has been hot as balls here in DC, and way too hot to wander around and take photos.  Also, our apartment is tiny and we are beginning to run out creative things one can do against the backdrop of a nondescript beige carpet.  Well, nondescript save for all the things certain people have managed to smush or spill on it…


This Is The ONLY Tea Party I Approve Of

28 08 2010

Alistair and Lucky had both come from countries that had historically had their differences of opinion with each other.  Nevertheless, their friendship found a strong foundation on their mutual love of (and dependence on) having a cup of tea every morning.  For at least a few minutes every day, they put their politics aside and agreed that the tea was best with a little milk and one spoonful of sugar.

There’s Something Different About You Today

18 08 2010

Lately, Ellie hadn’t had time to go shopping.  Normally, she tried to get to the grocery store once every week or so to stock up on essentials, but work had been hell these days and she’d been out of town on the weekends, and she just hadn’t had the time.  She couldn’t put it off any longer, though.  Now she was out of food and shampoo and conditioner.  This morning she’d had to resort to using the shampoo samples out of a magazine she’d found lying around the house.  Unfortunately, it was a men’s magazine, and the stuff she’d used smelled like a pine forest.  Ellie was hoping she could get through the day without anybody noticing that she smelled like a man (a man with good hygiene, but a man nonetheless), but the skeptical way she could feel Reese looking at her led her to believe that she would not be so lucky.  She really needed to get to the store today.

But I’m Not Even 30 Yet!

14 08 2010

This was awful.  A couple weeks ago, Puff had found her first gray hair, and now it seemed they were popping up everywhere.  If she started plucking them all out, she’d have no hair left.  If she dyed it, she thought people would be able to tell, which didn’t seem right.  She didn’t know what to do.  Hula Girl tried to make Puff feel better, telling her that it was okay, that the grays weren’t very noticeable, and even if they were, they only made her look more sophisticated.  Easy for her to say, Puff thought.  That bitch never aged.  She was probably going to look the same until they pried that damn ukelele out of her cold, dead hands.

I Eat A Lot Of Salad

8 08 2010

Porko Puerco loved to eat salad for dinner, and he loved to put a lot of fruit and unusual vegetables in it.  Today, he was going to put apple, peach, strawberries and heart of palm over his favorite red leaf lettuce.  Yummy.  Quack also loved when Porko made salad for dinner, although he hated to help, which was a behavior that Porko decidedly did not love.

Will Shortz: 756, Larry: 1

2 08 2010

It had only taken him three weeks, but Larry had finally completed his first ever Sunday New York Times crossword puzzle.  For two years now, he had tried every week in vain to finish the puzzle, with varying degrees of success.  Sometimes he would only figure out a handful of words, other times he might make it through half the squares, only to be confounded by some obscure line like a 12 letter word for “Mongolian yak harness.”  But finally, finally, he’d finished an entire Sunday crossword, and he was so proud of himself he felt he might burst.  To some, this might seem like an insignificant accomplishment, but to Larry, this was cause for celebration.