You Mean This Doesn’t Inspire Fear?

31 10 2010

Bear had worked really hard on his Halloween costume, and was somewhat miffed that he had to constantly explain what he was to people.  He was a jellyfish, goddammit.  More than one of his friends had said that jellyfish were not scary creatures, but Bear begged to differ.  The box jellyfish is the most poisonous creature on the planet.  Isn’t that a frightening fact?  Alistair said the costume was so pink and frilly it looked more appropriate for a gay pride parade than trick-or-treating.  Whatever.  They were all just jealous that he had a kick-ass costume and they hadn’t bothered to dress up at all, the unfestive party-poopers.


Things You Should Be Afraid Of

21 10 2010

Listen closely, children, and I’ll tell you things that will make your blood run cold…  The oil in the Gulf of Mexico will be around for years to come…  Christine O’Donnell doesn’t know anything about the Constitution…  Your cell phone might give you cancer…  Google knows where you are at any given moment…

What do you mean that’s not the kind of scare you wanted?

Tim Stays In A Fancy Hotel, Part 4 (Fin)

12 10 2010

These sheets don’t feel like they have a thread count of a thousand.  Also, I specifically asked for memory foam pillows, and these are definitely filled with feathers.  I should complain, but I’m too comfortable to roll over and pick up the phone.

Tim Stays In A Fancy Hotel, Part 3

5 10 2010

What?  I have to turn the water on myself and pour in my own aromatic salts?  I’m pretty sure someone told me this hotel has a bath butler.  What do you mean he costs extra???