Once Again, Procrastination Proves Detrimental

24 11 2010

Why, oh why, had he waited until today to do his Thanksgiving shopping?  Mr. Squishy knew that the lines at the grocery store would be bad tonight, but he had been waiting twenty-five minutes already and was only now approaching the checkout counter.  Year after year, he told himself that he wouldn’t wait until Wednesday evening to buy his turkey and trimmings, but once again he had put off his grocery run until the last minute and now he was paying the price.  Next year would be different, he promised himself.  Next year he would wise up and have his refrigerator stocked by the Monday before Thanksgiving.  For now, unfortunately, he’d just have to suffer a while longer while the lady in front of him took out about a hundred coupons and wrote out a personal check.


This Is A True Story

16 11 2010

Wow!  How long had this drawer been here?  Three years Elmo had lived in this apartment, and never once had he noticed that there was a drawer under the oven!  Was he merely unobservant or was he just an idiot?  Did all stoves have drawers underneath?  Had his previous apartment had one?  There was some metal thing in it, too, presumably for cooking something in the oven.  Did all oven drawers have this piece of metal?  Or had the previous tenant left it there?  What else hadn’t he noticed in his apartment?  Gosh, this just opened up a whole new world of storage options!