I’d Like To Think Dead People Have A Sense Of Humor. At Least I Hope So.

23 02 2011

Every year on the anniversary of his death, Aldo went to visit his uncle Ruff’s grave.  Before his untimely death, Ruff had been Aldo’s idol, teaching the young pup the proper way to roll over and when it was or was not appropriate to sniff a bitch’s behind.  It was only as he got older that Aldo realized that when he had accompanied Ruff on the seemingly harmless excursions running after cars he had, in actuality, been enabling his uncle’s full-blown chase-aholism.  What had looked like a freak traffic accident was really only an inevitability of Ruff’s addiction.  Nevertheless, despite his flaws, Aldo had loved Ruff, and so yearly went to pay his respects to his uncle, pee a little on his grave and bury a bone in his honor.





The H-Less Wonder Goes to the Washington Auto Show: Cadillac Urban Luxury Concept Edition

15 02 2011

Oooohhhh yeeeaaahhhh.  I’d like to put all eight of my hands all over that baby.  The car’s not bad, either.





The H-Less Wonder Goes to the Washington Auto Show: Mercedes Convertible Edition

9 02 2011

As Tim sat perched on this gorgeous red Mercedes, staring wistfully at the smooth leather interior, he wondered if he were old enough to have a mid-life crisis.  This car would be the perfect ride to help him recapture his lost youth.  And pick up chicks.





The H-Less Wonder Goes to the Washington Auto Show: Vintage Fiat Edition

5 02 2011

Omg!  This car was SO cute!  Darlene wanted one SO badly.  Never mind that it was so small you couldn’t fit so much as a suitcase or a even a large watermelon in it, it was undeniably adorable.  Never mind that she’d never be able to afford such a well-kept vintage car, she wanted it.  WANTED it.  How could you not want this little ray of vehicular sunshine?  It was SOOO cute!!!





The H-Less Wonder Goes to the Washington Auto Show: Call of Duty: Black Ops Jeep Wrangler Edition

2 02 2011

Once again, Quack’s Napoleon complex was proving exasperating to Porko Puerco.  It seemed that Quack believed it would be a good idea for them to purchase a Jeep Wrangler, and not just any Jeep Wrangler, but a Special Edition Call of Duty: Black Ops Jeep Wrangler.  Porko didn’t even know that there were vehicles designed to go with violent video games, but he certainly knew that they did not need a Jeep.  For one thing, they had nowhere to park it, and for another, neither one of them even had a driver’s license.  Moreover, Porko felt that to own such an unnecessary vehicle in the middle of the city where they lived just indicated that you were a total douchebag.