Nobody Panic

18 06 2010

Fire alarms are a pain in the butt.  On the one hand, you hope that there isn’t really a fire because having your apartment burn down would really put a damper on your day.  On the other hand, if it was some clown pulling the alarm as some sort of joke, ruining your meditative yoga workout, wasting your time (and tax dollars, because the fire department is going to have to come out here and inspect every floor before giving the all-clear sign), well then, that person better run and hope you don’t find them, because when you do, you are going to give them a BIG piece of your mind.

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I Don’t Think This Was What Baggage Scanners Were Intended to Detect

11 05 2010

Airline fees are out of control.  They charge you to check bags now, and I’ve heard that some carriers are thinking about charging fees for carry-ons!  WTF?  There are “fuel surcharges” and crazy taxes and don’t even think about changing your flight unless you want to pay an arm and a leg for it.  A meal included in the price of your cross-country ticket?  Ha!  Dream on.  Thankfully, we here at the H-less Wonder have come up with a solution to your financial air travel woes.  One ticket plus the fee for one checked bag is not as expensive if it’s divided amongst thirty or so of you and your closest friends.  And you’ll sure as hell be even closer by the end of the trip.





Que?

5 05 2010

It was supposed to be a nice, quiet dinner party with a few friends, but what started out as a pleasant evening with wine and cheese soon turned into a debaucherous melee.  Though it was Cinco de Mayo, the gang proved that it was possible to get totally bombed without Corona and tequila.  Yuengling and sweet tea vodka would do just as well.  In his drunken stupor, Tim vaguely realized that he was going to have quite the mess to clean up in the morning, but decided for once that he would let go and enjoy himself.  He was half Mexican, after all.  Not that anybody knew. 





Because Sometimes You Just Have To Dance

31 01 2010

It was just an ordinary Sunday, like all the Sundays that had come before.  And then someone turned on the radio, which was mysteriously tuned to Radio Latino.  Gloria Estefan was playing.  They could feel the rhythm of the music getting stronger.  They knew they couldn’t control themselves any longer.  And then, although no one could tell you who started it, they shook their bodies, baby, and they did that conga.





You Start To Scream

20 12 2009

Apparently, Michael Jackson “Thriller” tributes never get old.