I Might Be Part Magpie Because I Like Shiny Things

7 08 2012

Look at her, Ellie thought bitterly, trying to prance around in those damn sparkly heels.  Yes, Annabella’s shoes were silver and pretty, yes, they perfectly matched the dress that she had bought for the upcoming wedding they were both attending, and yes, they made her calves look thinner, but Ellie could tell that she was having trouble standing upright for any length of time or walking even a short distance.  Ellie surmised that thirty minutes into the wedding reception those shoes would be kicked off under the table for comfort’s sake, or else Annabella would totter around on the dance floor all night and pay for it with terrible blisters.  Ellie surmised also that Annabella would appear tall and fabulous and get all the boys’ attention, while she herself would refuse to suffer in the name of fashion and end up dancing alone.  Ugh.  Between podiatric stability and shagging an available groomsman, she really wasn’t sure which was the better option.


Doggy Style

10 06 2011

Look, when I said you could tie me up and treat me badly, this wasn’t really what I had in mind.

If You Can’t Control Yourself, You Deserve The Hangover

1 01 2011

It appeared that Annabella had enjoyed herself last night.  At least she had made it home this year, which was an improvement on last year.  At least she’d managed not to lose her keys.  At least she’d made it halfway in the front door.  Maybe next year she’d make it all the way inside.

Happy New Year!  Good luck in 2011!

Not-So-Secret After All

25 12 2010

Secret Santa givers were supposed to be a mystery.  Kevin could tell immediately by the shitty wrap job and pathetic bow that his gift was from Peanut.  Everybody knew the monkey couldn’t decently wrap a present to save his life.

It’s the thought that counts.  Merry Christmas, everyone!

The Difference Between Pilates And Pirates Is An “Arrrrgh”

31 05 2010

Puff and Annabella were serious about trying to get in shape, but these core workouts had proven to be a little more challenging than Puff had anticipated.

Deep (Sea) Tissue Massage

7 05 2010

Finally, after months of hard work and a lifetime of dreaming, Larry was beginning to make his goal of becoming a successful massage therapist a reality.  It had taken some time to convince anyone to be his first client, as most people were wary of his impressive claws.  Luckily, many had discovered that behind Larry’s big pinchers, there was a delicate and skilled technique that put them quickly at ease.  Annabella was not the first to succumb to deep relaxation and an almost hypnosis-like submission to his touch.

Sigh… It’s So Hard To Be Us…

19 03 2010

Pinky and Annabella had tired themselves out after a rough day of antiquing and shopping in Old Town.  It was so taxing trying to find that perfect vintage drawer-pull for Pinky’s kitchen, and so harrowing to figure out which designer handbag would go perfectly with Annabella’s dress for the gala.  Now it was time to sit down, drink a latte, and determine which of the men passing by had enough money to keep them in the lap of luxury.