‘Twas the Night Before Thanksgiving

25 11 2015

Larry had a minor claw cramp from apple-peeling. He also had some major anxiety about whether this pie was going to be okay for the feast tomorrow, given that his track record was maybe 50/50 in the dessert department. Last year his crust was too crumbly at Thanksgiving and too soggy at Christmas, and then of course there was that time a few years back that his pie turned out like apple soup in something that somewhat resembled dough. He hoped that the generous sprinkling of bourbon and pats of butter hidden beneath the crust would forgive any potential disasters.




11 10 2012

There’s no witty story today.  Instead, we dedicate this post to the Washington Nationals, who need to win tonight to stay in the playoffs.  And we LOVE the Washington Nationals.  So much so that we named the white Let-Teddy-Win bear Danny Esbearnosa, after our second baseman, who is also from California and kinda Hispanic, like us.  Go Nationals!  Natitude!  Get your red on!  BEAT THE CARDINALS!  STAY IN IT, BOYS!  WE LOVE YOU!

The Great Lighting Debacle Of 2010

23 12 2010

As Princess struggled to contain her embarrassment and indignation, Larry tried desperately to suppress a fit of helpless giggling.  He suspected that other people did not have the same trouble hanging Christmas lights that she did.  Seriously, the girl was a disaster when it came to holiday decorating.  This was even funnier than that time she had tried to carve a jack-o-lantern and ended up with mushed pumpkin in her ears. 

Will Shortz: 756, Larry: 1

2 08 2010

It had only taken him three weeks, but Larry had finally completed his first ever Sunday New York Times crossword puzzle.  For two years now, he had tried every week in vain to finish the puzzle, with varying degrees of success.  Sometimes he would only figure out a handful of words, other times he might make it through half the squares, only to be confounded by some obscure line like a 12 letter word for “Mongolian yak harness.”  But finally, finally, he’d finished an entire Sunday crossword, and he was so proud of himself he felt he might burst.  To some, this might seem like an insignificant accomplishment, but to Larry, this was cause for celebration.

And The Lobster’s Red Glare…

4 07 2010

Happy Fourth of July from the H-Less wonder!  Sadly, this is the only combination of red, white and blue we could come up with.

Where’s Rihanna When You Need Her?

28 05 2010

Larry felt terrible about accidentally breaking Tim’s umbrella, but not so much because of the actual umbrella (which was easily replaced), but because he knew he’d be hearing about it for a long time.  It wasn’t even raining today, but Tim was already complaining about how much this would inconvenience him.  Tim could hold a wicked grudge.  Larry would probably have to buy him a lot of beer to get him to shut up, which would probably end up costing more than the umbrella.

Deep (Sea) Tissue Massage

7 05 2010

Finally, after months of hard work and a lifetime of dreaming, Larry was beginning to make his goal of becoming a successful massage therapist a reality.  It had taken some time to convince anyone to be his first client, as most people were wary of his impressive claws.  Luckily, many had discovered that behind Larry’s big pinchers, there was a delicate and skilled technique that put them quickly at ease.  Annabella was not the first to succumb to deep relaxation and an almost hypnosis-like submission to his touch.