An Unexpected Benefit To Buying In Bulk

6 01 2011

Samantha and Randall loved the first Thursday of every month when Sam’s mom did her Costco run.  First, they’d tag along and feast on free samples of Vienna sausages and frozen cream puffs.  After that they’d play hide-and-seek among the towering shelves until some rotund assistant manager would yell at them and threaten to kick them out for good (“I mean it this time, you two acne-riddled hooligans!”).  Then, after they’d gotten back to Sam’s place and unloaded the minivan, they’d build a sweet-ass fort out of the massive amounts of toilet paper that Sam’s mom always bought.  Say what she would about her mother, Sam had to give her credit for always making sure the house was stocked with essentials.





The World Hates Short People

19 07 2010

The photo booth’s instructions said to adjust the stool height to camera level.  The stool was helpfully marked with arrows so that you knew to rotate it clockwise to move down, and counter-clockwise to move up.  It was only after the guys had put their two dollars in the machine that they discovered the stool was stuck.  Four blank pictures later, they were understandably peeved.





I Hope Somebody Remembers They Forgot Me

20 05 2010

Randall had gotten separated from his group at the Museum of Natural History.  He had originally been a little relieved, as it was nice to be away from everyone and have a few moments of relative peace, but as the minutes ticked by and turned into hours, his relief began to turn into anxiety.  Once, in junior high, on a band trip to Disneyland, a kid named Jimmy that Randall knew left their group to go to the first aid station because he wasn’t feeling well, but he hadn’t told anyone where he was going.  It wasn’t until later, at their hotel, that a few kids realized Jimmy’s presence was conspicuously lacking.  Dear God, they had left Jimmy at Disneyland!  Randall sincerely hoped that this would not be a repeat of that notorious incident.  If only he could remember where they were supposed to meet at the end of the day.  Hopefully at least one of his friends would notice his absense and have the decency to come look for him.