As Elmo ate his feelings and tried desperately to find something to watch that wasn’t Inauguration-related, he had an epiphany. This whole election debacle wasn’t the result of partisan politics, or Russian hacking, or the willful ignorance of complete and total fuckery by nearly half of the American people. No, it was much simpler than that. Wiping processed cheddar crumbs from his lips and thinking of the Kraft mac and cheese he ate for dinner last night and the Velveeta dip he’d had at that party last week, Elmo realized that Americans love fake orange crap that they know will slowly kill them. This was just the natural but unholy progression of things.