Doggy Style

10 06 2011

Look, when I said you could tie me up and treat me badly, this wasn’t really what I had in mind.


I’d Like To Think Dead People Have A Sense Of Humor. At Least I Hope So.

23 02 2011

Every year on the anniversary of his death, Aldo went to visit his uncle Ruff’s grave.  Before his untimely death, Ruff had been Aldo’s idol, teaching the young pup the proper way to roll over and when it was or was not appropriate to sniff a bitch’s behind.  It was only as he got older that Aldo realized that when he had accompanied Ruff on the seemingly harmless excursions running after cars he had, in actuality, been enabling his uncle’s full-blown chase-aholism.  What had looked like a freak traffic accident was really only an inevitability of Ruff’s addiction.  Nevertheless, despite his flaws, Aldo had loved Ruff, and so yearly went to pay his respects to his uncle, pee a little on his grave and bury a bone in his honor.

An Unexpected Benefit To Buying In Bulk

6 01 2011

Samantha and Randall loved the first Thursday of every month when Sam’s mom did her Costco run.  First, they’d tag along and feast on free samples of Vienna sausages and frozen cream puffs.  After that they’d play hide-and-seek among the towering shelves until some rotund assistant manager would yell at them and threaten to kick them out for good (“I mean it this time, you two acne-riddled hooligans!”).  Then, after they’d gotten back to Sam’s place and unloaded the minivan, they’d build a sweet-ass fort out of the massive amounts of toilet paper that Sam’s mom always bought.  Say what she would about her mother, Sam had to give her credit for always making sure the house was stocked with essentials.

It’ll Grow Out Eventually

8 12 2010

What do you mean, “Oops”?