An Unexpected Benefit To Buying In Bulk

6 01 2011

Samantha and Randall loved the first Thursday of every month when Sam’s mom did her Costco run.  First, they’d tag along and feast on free samples of Vienna sausages and frozen cream puffs.  After that they’d play hide-and-seek among the towering shelves until some rotund assistant manager would yell at them and threaten to kick them out for good (“I mean it this time, you two acne-riddled hooligans!”).  Then, after they’d gotten back to Sam’s place and unloaded the minivan, they’d build a sweet-ass fort out of the massive amounts of toilet paper that Sam’s mom always bought.  Say what she would about her mother, Sam had to give her credit for always making sure the house was stocked with essentials.

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Tim Stays In A Fancy Hotel, Part 3

5 10 2010

What?  I have to turn the water on myself and pour in my own aromatic salts?  I’m pretty sure someone told me this hotel has a bath butler.  What do you mean he costs extra???





There’s Something Different About You Today

18 08 2010

Lately, Ellie hadn’t had time to go shopping.  Normally, she tried to get to the grocery store once every week or so to stock up on essentials, but work had been hell these days and she’d been out of town on the weekends, and she just hadn’t had the time.  She couldn’t put it off any longer, though.  Now she was out of food and shampoo and conditioner.  This morning she’d had to resort to using the shampoo samples out of a magazine she’d found lying around the house.  Unfortunately, it was a men’s magazine, and the stuff she’d used smelled like a pine forest.  Ellie was hoping she could get through the day without anybody noticing that she smelled like a man (a man with good hygiene, but a man nonetheless), but the skeptical way she could feel Reese looking at her led her to believe that she would not be so lucky.  She really needed to get to the store today.